From Gao I traveled east toward Niamey in Niger.
I rode in the back of a pickup truck that had wooden benches on the two long sides
& boxes of goods in the middle with children on top of the boxes.
The back of the pickup had a hard top & cloth flaps for the sides and the end
which were open during the day.
The truck was, as usual, over packed with both people and goods.
I rode all day squashed between two people who seemed not to understand
that my feet and legs were connected to my torso.
There were frequent stops for border checks since this was the far north.
The stops meant that everyone had to pile out of the back & show their papers.
Every time we got back in I tried to make myself more comfortable
& somehow I only got more uncomfortable.

As it got dark, the flaps were closed on the side and the back.
I couldn’t see out of the truck.
There were too many people, too much baggage, too many children.
After a while I began to panic. I couldn’t get enough air in the enclosed truck.
I tried to open the flap abit to get some air, but the other passengers objected.
I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was going to start screaming.
Janet, I told myself, “Calm down. You can’t freak out here.
They just won’t know what to do with a screaming white woman.”
I was seated mid-way down the bench.
I found myself standing up in the crowded moving truck
& somehow making my way to the back where I was able to sit at the end of the bench
& stick my head out the flap.

The sky was clear & there was a full moon.
I calmed myself with that and the breeze from the motion of the truck.
I became aware of a young Tuareg man sitting across from me at the end of the facing bench
He was gently running his foot up my leg and smiling!
It was a friendly , naughty gesture & the gentle, human contact helped calm bring me back.